


Gin & Tonic On The House

by mikeythemage



Series: Ghost Bois Inc. Universe [4]
Category: Minecraft (Video Game)
Genre: Alcohol Abuse/Alcoholism, Alcohol Poisoning, Alcoholic Jschlatt, Alex is in love, Alexis | Quackity is a Bartender, Autistic Character, Because Schlatt is like dead as fuck, Child Neglect, Don't worry they never get together, Friends With Benefits, Gen, Good Brother Jschlatt, Hopeful Ending, Hurt No Comfort, I Made Myself Cry, I am so sorry, Implied Sexual Content, Implied/Referenced Rape/Non-con, Implied/Referenced Underage Sex, Jschlatt Being a Jerk (Video Blogging RPF), Jschlatt-centric (Video Blogging RPF), Mild Sexual Content, Parent Jschlatt (Video Blogging RPF), Quackity/Jschlatt is SUPER toxic though, Sexual Humor, Slight Quackity/Jschlatt, Toby Smith | Tubbo Has a Bad Time, Toby Smith | Tubbo is Not Okay, Unrequited Love, after they both grow as people (and ghost), and Quackity gets someone else :), cause he deserves to be happy, friends to strangers to friends, schlatt isnt, they do stay friends however, they have friends with benefits thing going on
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-02-02
Updated: 2021-02-02
Packaged: 2021-03-13 01:06:44
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 8,560
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28894851
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/mikeythemage/pseuds/mikeythemage
Summary: Jay 'Schlatt' Smith never wanted to have children. He'd known that much since he was five. His teachers always told him that he would change his mind as he got older, his mother told him that he wouldn't know how to raise one anyways so he shouldn't bother. He would have taken offense to his mothers comments if he didn't already know they were true.!!READ TAGS!!
Relationships: Alexis | Quackity & Jschlatt, Alexis | Quackity & Original Characters, Jschlatt & Original Characters, Jschlatt & Toby Smith | Tubbo, Minor or Background Relationship(s), Original Characters/Original Characters (minor and briefly), Ranboo & Dave | Technoblade, Toby Smith | Tubbo & TommyInnit & Ranboo, Tommyinnit & Wilbur Soot
Series: Ghost Bois Inc. Universe [4]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/2106696
Comments: 9
Kudos: 144





	Gin & Tonic On The House

**Author's Note:**

> This really got away from me, and I apologize.

Jay 'Schlatt' Smith never wanted to have children. He'd known that much since he was five. His teachers always told him that he would change his mind as he got older, his mother told him that he wouldn't know how to raise one anyways so he shouldn't bother. He would have taken offense to his mothers comments if he didn't already know they were true.

I mean, come on, even as a child himself he couldn't stand being around the other kids. The only exception was his little sister, Sierra. He'd gotten into his first fight in the third grade over who got to use the last soccer ball. And not just a verbal argument, either. A full blown, fists being thrown, blood being drawn fight. He'd only been defending himself, the other guy had punched him first after all, but apparently winning a fight means _you're_ the issue. He'd told the principal that it was stupid he was the one getting in trouble when he'd been the one getting attacked, but they didn't bother listening. His mother hadn't cared enough to pick up the phone, so he'd sat in the office until the end of the school day when he took the bus home.

It wasn't like his mother wasn't home, when he walked in the door she was sat in her chair watching TV on full blast, cans of beer scattered around the table to her right while Sierra is standing in her crib, bouncing in place with a pacifier in her mouth and spaghetti stains all over her onesie. She looks like she's about to cry because of the loud noise. His mother doesn't bother to send him even a glance as he slams the door behind him, rubbing under his nose where the dried blood itches his skin. He walks past her towards the crib, Sierra making grabby hands at him like she often does when she wants to be picked up.

He grabs her, carrying her into his room and setting her onto his bed. "Stay there." he says before sitting on the ground and starting his homework. She makes some sort of babbling noise in response, but he doesn't really pay it any attention. She just sort of... does that, sometimes. Not that he minds. After all, it's his little sister. He can hate the other kids all he wants, Sierra is never going to be on his shit list. Even if she does make weird three year old sounds a lot. She does speak, although it isn't often. He isn't worried about it, though. She'll speak when she wants to.

His mother calls for him just as he's about to finish his last math problem of the night. He sighs, picking Sierra up to bring him with her because he doesn't trust her to not crawl off the edge of his bed. The TV is still on full blast, and Sierra makes a noise of discomfort and covering her ears. "Yeah, ma?" Schlatt asks, bouncing Sierra on his side.

"Grab me four more beers, will you?"

He sighs, setting Sierra on the booster seat before walking to the fridge and grabbing four beers from the top shelf. He sets them on the table, grabbing the empty ones and throwing them in the garbage. "Did you do your homework already?" Sierra starts to fuss around in her chair.

"Yes, ma, I did my homework already." he picks up the toddler again and begins to rush back to his room before his mother calls out to his again. He stops in the archway that doubles as the entrance and exit to the kitchen. The living room is a straight shot from where he's standing, and he can see how dirty their shitty brown carpet is in the short distance. Sierra is pressing her hands harder into the side of her head to block out the noise of the TV as an intense scene picks up, doubling the musics volume. "Yeah?"

"Don't make too much noise when you're getting ready tomorrow morning. I'm gonna have a headache." He leaves and puts a pair of old earmuffs he never used as a kid on Sierra when they get back to his room. She still holds her hands over them, but less tightly. It's an improvement, at least.

He turns in his homework the next morning with one of the problems left unanswered.

"You ready, lieutenant?" Schlatt asks, straightening the small button up shirt Sierra is wearing. The fabric is much different from his own clothes, but he's gotten used to the difference in feeling. Ever since they'd found out that Sierra couldn't wear certain fabrics without it disturbing her. She nods, gripping onto the hand that he offers her. She still doesn't like speaking, only ever feeling comfortable doing so around Schlatt a few words at a time. Any time she can get more than one sentence out, Schlatt always makes sure to tell her that she did a good job. They walk to the bus stop together, Schlatt handing her the pair of earmuffs she wears so that the loud sounds don't hurt her ears whenever they're out in public.

It's her first day of school, going into Kindergarten at six because she had a late birthday or something, and Schlatt is going into the fifth grade. He's not going to be there for her after this year, and that scares him a lot. Even with the help from the teachers in the special needs class, he's worried about what will happen to her with the other kids. He knows that she could handle herself, she's a tough cookie, but sometimes he worries if she's just saying that to make him feel better. Little kids are ruthless without even realizing it, after all, and it cuts really deep when you're so young. That's not to say that Schlatt won't lay out a five year old if he has to, because he totally will.

He hopes that she can make friends. He doesn't suspect that she won't be able to, especially considering she's so likable, but making friends at school and making friends with the kid down the street are two different things. For one, it's a completely different setting with time and movement constraints, two, Sierra isn't verbal with very many people and Schlatt won't be there to translate for her, and three she doesn't really have a concept for boundaries yet. Five year olds never really do, but her especially.

A boy in the row across from them gives Sierra an odd look, raising a brow slightly at the sight of the earmuffs. Schlatt gives him a look, but the boy doesn't look away. He looks like he's assessing, which Schlatt despises, and he's about to verbally tell him off when the boy reaches into his bag, pulls out a whiteboard, and writes ' _hello :)_ '. Schlatt looks at him like he's insane, but Sierra positively lights up, making grabby hands at the whiteboard. The boy passes it to her, and she writes back ' _hi_ ' in hand-writing that is barely legible. To be fair to her, though, both of their handwriting looks positively awful. They must be going into the same grade.

The bus pulls up to the school after thirty minutes of the two passing the board back and forth. The boy turns out to be named Issac. He had also pointed to the boy next to him, someone Schlatt's age wearing a beanie and said that it was his older brother, Alexis, which Schlatt laughed at, but Alexis was quick to say that he preferred to go by Alex. The two walk their respective younger siblings to the classroom, still excitedly writing on the whiteboard the entire way. Sierra is so excited, in fact, that she almost forgets to give Schlatt a hug goodbye. He does get his hug though, so he doesn't mind.

They're halfway to their own class when Alex speaks up, "What's up with your sister, man?"

Schlatt's protective instincts immediately flare up, "What the heck is that supposed to mean?" he hadn't quite taken up his swearing habit yet.

Alex raises his hands in defense, "Whoa, dude. I was just asking why she doesn't talk."

He's still slightly on edge with how the question was originally worded, but doesn't go straight for the throat this time, "She just doesn't, okay?"

"Alright then... what about you? Got any friends? Anyone to sit with in class?"

When he doesn't answer, Alex seems to take the hint. He shrugs before walking into the class before Schlatt and taking a random seat in the class. Schlatt scans the room, looking for a seat. He doesn't really have that many friends, most kids still kind of intimidated by him from the fight in third grade, so he isn't sure what type of seat he's looking for. The bell rings, and the teacher looks away from the board.

"Please take a seat..."

"Jay."

"Right, Jay. Please take a seat anywhere you like." they say, turning back to the board to write their name on it in big letters. Schlatt looks back to the array of desks, most people opening their notebooks already, but Alex is staring at him with a questioning look. Schlatt sighs, before walking over and sitting next to him. He wants to smack the smug look off of Alex's face so bad.

The teachers starts talking about introductions, or some other bullshit, but he just tunes her out. Alex slides him a paper across the desk that reads ' _this lady looks like she does meth_ ' and it takes everything in him not to burst out laughing. Okay, maybe he won't be _so_ bad to be around.

"Jay, can you help me with this?" Sierra says, walking into his room without knocking (as usual). He sighs, spinning in his chair to face her. She's in third grade now, himself being a Freshman. He turns back to his bulky laptop that he was playing WoW on and types a quick message to Alex saying he has to help Sierra with some school work. Alex calls him lame just before he logs out.

"Totally. What do you need help with?"

She shoves a piece of paper into his hands wordlessly. It's English, from the looks of it something to do with The Witches by Roald Dahl, and there's a couple of questions at the bottom that have to do with the motivation of the Witches in the story. Now, he hasn't read that book since it was his own assigned reading, but he remembers that much pretty well so he's glad that the material hasn't changed in the past seven years.

"Right. So the reason the Witches do what they do is because they don't like children for anything other than eating. They think of them as less than, pretty much."

"Why?"

He blanks. He has no idea why, really. He himself dislikes kids quite a lot, but he can't imagine himself ever doing something like they are in the book or like his mother does to him. He doesn't like kids enough to have them, and he definitely doesn't trust himself to take care of one that isn't Sierra, but he can't find a motive or reason have this much resentment towards kids.

"I don't know." is what he settles on, and Sierra gives him an annoyed look before taking her homework back and walking out of the room.

He's not sure why, but he can't stop thinking about it when he lays awake in bed that night.

He would never admit it to him, but Schlatt does quite enjoy Alex's company. He could go without his improvised songs that are always incredibly loud and horribly out of tune, which is apparently done on _purpose_ for some reason, but that's just part of his friend. As much as he likes to complain about him, he's glad to have him around. Sometimes.

Now is not one of those times.

Because who in their right fucking mind decides to bring a confetti canon to school, screams at the top of their lungs, sets it off in the hallway, and then drag their friend into the punishment when they _rightfully_ get detention. Alex, apparently. And now Schlatt has to sit in Mr. O'Haire's classroom for an extra hour after school for something he didn't even know what going to happen all because his best friend is a fucking moron.

Alex keeps throwing balled up pieces of paper at the back of his head to try and get his attention, but he keeps his attention firm on the board. Mr. O'Haire is always asleep during detention, Schlatt would know with how many times he's gotten it, and it's usually a blessing but right now he wishes the old man would wake up and tell the boy behind him off. When he gets hit in the back of the head with a shoe, he finally turns around with a litany of curse words on the tip of his tongue before he can say anything, though, Alex holds up a piece of paper that just says ' _I'm sorry JSchlatt :(_ '.

Sierra had been the one to give him the nickname Schlatt. She'd fucked up trying to say Smith once through a mouthful of food, and Schlatt laughed so hard the water he'd been drinking came out of his nose. Now he's stuck with the name, but he doesn't mind to be honest. It's not as bad as it could have been, really.

"Fuck you, Quackity." he says back before turning forward again, Alex just frowns. Sierra had also given Alex his nickname when he wore a shirt with a duck on it to school one day. It was the first thing she'd ever said to him, which Schlatt still finds funny, and it stuck for the simple fact that he couldn't stop saying it every time he saw Alex on any other day. Alex had found it annoying at first, but now he's accepted it.

Speaking of Sierra, and speaking, she's gotten a lot more comfortable with verbally communicating with people she doesn't know. She still has trouble with eye contact, and she's still incredibly blunt, but she's definitely better with it! Schlatt can't say he's anything but extremely proud of her. Their mother, however, couldn't seem to care less. She's gotten even less attentive the older they're getting. As soon as Schlatt hit his Sophomore year, and Sierra her sixth, she stopped saying anything besides 'grab me a beer' to them all together. He has reason to believe she's spending their rent money on beer, too, but he doesn't have any evidence.

Alex throws his other shoe at the back of Schlatt's head and this time he doesn't give the other a chance before smacking him over the desk. Alex slaps him back before they get into an all out brawl as quietly as possible so to not get another detention. The other students around them ignoring them to the best of their abilities (not counting the one kid who was laughing at them. Schlatt thinks his name was George.)

When their hour is up and Mr. O'Haire still isn't awake, they decide to just leave. No point staying there, anyways, since he's probably not going to wake up for a while and they make sure to flip off his sleeping body on their way out. They have to walk home now, and Alex spends most of it complaining about how he wishes he could just get his licence already.

Sierra gives him a glance when he walks into his room across the hallway from hers, but doesn't say anything. When he sits down at his desk, he turns his chair around to be looking out the door. Sierra is laying on her bed reading some book he's probably never heard of with her legs kicked up in the air. He sighs before turning back to his laptop and opening up WoW.

He's barely ten minutes in when he hears his bed shift, and he smiles to himself knowing that she's watching him play.

After Schlatt graduated from high-school ( _"Class of '03, represent!" "Alex, shut the fuck up." "That's fair."_ ) he wasn't sure what to do with his life. He didn't have the grades to get a college scholarship, or the money to go to college, so the only option he saw was going straight into work and he definitely didn't want to do that. Alex ended up going to the local community college to be a coding major and a music minor, an odd mix if you were to ask Schlatt. It was like an architect also getting a degree in insects. Just... weird.

He and Alex have a... weird relationship these days. Not to say that they're not good friends, because they are, it's just kind of awkward. Alex doesn't have the same attitude about their antics he did when they were younger, which is fair because he's in college now, but he seems to just not have time for Schlatt. And that, for some reason, pisses Schlatt off. He tries to reach out to Alex only to be met with his voicemail, or even an 'sorry, I'm busy' at his dorm even though Schlatt can hear movies playing in the background.

He tries not to let it bother him, but he knows it does.

He's twenty, only three months away from his birthday, when he got the call from Sierra. He'd thought nothing of it at first, they call each other all the time. Every Monday and then again on Friday. It's a tradition at this point. He picks up, expecting her to greet him with the usual, but he's instead met with frantic crying. His protective instinct kicks in, sitting up straight from where he'd previously been lounging.

"Sierra, what's wrong?"

"I." She starts before breaking out into sobs, he's already halfway out the door with his keys when she gets a full sentence out, "I think I'm pregnant, Schlatt."

He drops his keys.

Tubbo Smith (Schlatt swears that's the stupidest name on the planet), is born on December twenty-third, two-thousand-seven at four-twenty P.M. Schlatt is twenty-one, Sierra is sixteen. The nurse gave Schlatt a look when she came in, but when he explained the situation to her that Sierra had been at a party with Issac who ended up leaving to go to the bathroom for five minutes and a boy she'd never met handed her a drink only for her to be woken up by a boy with brown hair in one of the bedrooms a couple hours later without any idea what had happened, and that he was her older brother, the look changed from judging to understanding and pity. Schlatt didn't like that look in the slightest, but he understands why they were getting it.

Schlatt was sure the boy with brown hair who'd woken her up was the one that did it. He was fucking positive of it, in fact, because that same boy was the one who'd told Sierra there was a possibility she was pregnant and that set off way too many red flags. About an hour after Tubbo was born, the nurse brought some guy holding flowers in. Sierra seemed to recognize him, and when Schlatt asked who he was she just said he was the one that had woken her up.

Schlatt had him in a headlock in seconds.

The boy had started to explain frantically that he'd just been looking for the bathroom when he'd found her, which Schlatt thought was total bullshit and he told him as such. Eventually the guy gave up with that route and said, in possibly the most deadpan voice anyone could say such a thing in, "Man, I have two boyfriends. Kind of super into dudes."

Schlatt spent fifteen minutes apologizing on Sierra's request. Ironically enough, neither of them can remember what his name is.

Schlatt tried to tell Alex, called him nearly half a dozen times because he was so excited to be an uncle (despite the circumstances), only to be met with a dial tone each time. It was the thirteenth time he tried calling that Alex picked up, and before Schlatt could even get a word out he was met with Alex's irritated voice, accompanied by loud music. He was at a party.

"Stop fucking calling me already. How have you not gotten the hint yet? Leave me the fuck alone, I don't want to be friends anymore." The line goes dead, and Schlatt furrows his brow. That's new. Even when Alex was at parties he would always take a few minutes to talk to Schlatt, and Schlatt had always done the same. They were best friends after all. They would do anything for each other.

But apparently not anymore. And that makes Schlatt a little more upset than it should.

Tubbo is barely ten months old when he gets his first "major" (used _incredibly_ loosely) injury. Schlatt, being Schlatt, had walked into the kitchen to get some food at three AM with Tubbo in his arms. Sierra is asleep on his couch, their birth giver (he _refuses_ to call that woman his mother. Not in this context, not in any context. He'd rather call her by her first name, Isabelle, than ever give her so much as an ounce of recognition for having them under her roof.) having kicked her out when the news broke that she was pregnant, and the apartment is practically dead silent if you don't count the babbling of noise coming from Tubbo as he reaches for the things in Schlatt's hands, and the kids downstairs arguing over who gets to pick the movie next.

He turns abruptly at the sound of someone entering the kitchen. There's a loud ' _BANG_ ' after he does so, and his eyes fall onto Sierra, because who else could it have been walking into his kitchen at three in the morning, with her eyes flitting back and force between Schlatt and where the cabinet is. Schlatt looks to his left, Tubbo's eyes are glossy with unshed tears, lip quivering as Schlatt and Sierra stare at each other in anticipation. Tubbo breaks out into wails, kicking around in Schlatt's arms in pain as he moves to the center of the kitchen to avoid any of the other cabinets.

Sierra rushes over to him, grabbing Tubbo and beginning to shush him as she rubs his head. Schlatt is frantically apologizing, waving his hands around to try and convey just how sorry he is, but that seems to make the situation even worse because the movement makes Tubbo start to freak out even more. Sierra is also freaking out, bouncing from foot to foot as her own eyes stat to tear up. Schlatt takes Tubbo back, shushing his sister and quieting himself as they both begin to stand still and just look at Tubbo. Sierra is still holding onto one of his little hands for her own comfort.

It takes a solid fifteen minutes for Tubbo to calm down, and by the time he has Schlatt isn't hungry anymore.

It's Tubbo's second birthday when he says his first (coherent) sentence. It had been completely unexpected, Sierra had just been sitting at the counter talking at him about the small bee plush that he'd gotten from a random boy on the street when he'd blurted out "This is bee!". Sierra absolutely lost her shit.

"Schlatt!" She'd yelled, picking Tubbo up from his booster chair and carrying him over to the living room, "Schlatt you'll never believe this!"

Schlatt, who had been watching the Mickey Mouse Clubhouse (it's an unironically good show, you can't judge him) when she ran in looked over at her in confusion, "Yeah? What's up?"

Sierra is beaming when she looks over at Tubbo again, holding the bee plush in front of his face, "Can you do it again? Can you show Schlatt what you showed mommy?" Tubbo grabs at the plush, bumping his head against it which makes Schlatt's heart melt a bit. He makes some of his usual baby noises, bouncing a bit in Sierra's arms when he does it again.

"This is bee!"

"Holy shit!" Schlatt yells, practically jumping off the couch and over to Sierra. Tubbo is blissfully unaware of how hyped they are over this, but he enjoys the attention regardless.

"I fucking know, right!"

"Holy _shit_!" He takes Tubbo from Sierra's arms and begins to spin him around in the living room, the T.V forgotten as the episode plays out. Tubbo laughs as they spin, as does Schlatt, and Sierra starts to ramble about how proud she is of him and how much of a milestone it is. Schlatt is sure that there are some kids that say their first full sentence at like, ten months, but this isn't other kids.

This is Tubbo. And Tubbo is practically perfect to them.

"You know," Schlatt says out of nowhere one day while he and Sierra are watching -not really, it's just on while they talk- a movie. Tubbo is sound asleep in his crib in the corner., "I've never really asked, but why the name Tubbo?"

Sierra looks to the T.V, an expression of some emotion Schlatt can't really identify washing over her face. It's something like confusion, but not quite. He's sure he'll figure out the word eventually, but not right now.

"I don't know." She says with a shrug, and now Schlatt looks confused.

"How do you not know?" He asks, and Sierra sighs.

"I don't know because I don't know. It's like how I came up with Schlatt. It just came out of my mouth one day, and now it's all I ever call you."

Schlatt has to admit that he can't really argue with that. Sometimes Sierra just says stuff and it sticks and they can't even remember why it happened. Schlatt has just been a staple for so many years that he no longer thinks about how it came to be. He begins racking his brain for ways she could have come up with Tubbo, but nothing fits and it's making him for than a little frustrated.

"How'd you come up with it?"

Sierra shrugs again, "Honestly? I _think_ I was trying to say Toby."

He's quiet for a few seconds before he breaks into laughter. He'd be lying if he said that didn't make sense.

Tubbo is only four years old when Sierra dies after being hit by a drunk driver on the interstate. He'd said he was sad that his Aunt Sierra had passed away (they'd told him that she was his aunt and Schlatt was his dad for his own sake) and had asked if his dad needed a hug every morning when he woke up. Schlatt always said no, Sierra, he didn't need a hug. Tubbo always said that his name wasn't Sierra. Schlatt said he looked like her, and he was going to call him whatever he fucking wanted. Tubbo was too young to really care, but he was still confused.

Isabelle didn't care about the news, but Schlatt can't say he's surprised.

He takes up drinking to cope, something that him even five years ago would look down upon. If he's not yelling at Tubbo, calling him Sierra in the process, he's drunk off his ass and ignoring that the boy even exists. He normally sends Tubbo to the neighbors house when he starts drinking (which is practically every night), and when he is home there's the rare occasion he asks the toddler to grab him a beer.

He'd never admit it, but in the back of his mind he reminds himself of Isabelle. 

It's a cold Tuesday when Schlatt stumbles into a bar at midnight, already tipsy, with his jacket practically falling off his frame. He walks to the bar, falling onto one of the stools, and rests his head against the cold counter. The music pulses around him, making his head hurt, and he only bothers to look up when a voice asks him what he wants. In front of him stands a Mexican man wearing a blue beanie, and a look of surprise washes over his face at the sight of Schlatt. His grip on the rag he's holding to clean the class in his hand tightens ever so slightly.

"Schlatt?" he asks, "Jay Schlatt Smith?"

Schlatt squints his eyes, trying to recognize where he knows that voice from. He's seen this guy before, he knows he has. It's right there on the tip of his tongue, he's just gotta think (which makes his head hurt more and isn't that just lovely). The man's face falls when Schlatt shows no recognition, and he sighs. "Never mind. I must have gotten the wrong person."

He turns around, and it's then that Schlatt spots the small scar in the rough shape of a star on the man's elbow. He knows that scar. It was one that an old friend of his had gotten when they'd been fighting in detention. One that neither of them even knew about until after they were both at home, and his friend realized he was missing an entire chunk of skin. Something that his friend had made up fake stories about to impress people and seem cooler than he was. Something that was only on one person he'd ever known. Something that was only on his ex-best-friend named-

"Alex?" The man turns back to him, eyes bright with hope and Schlatt knows he hit it dead on. "Hey, Alex. Long time no see."

All of the tension leaves Alex's body, replaced instead by the casual air that Schlatt is so used to. "Thank fucking God. That would have been so embarrassing if it wasn't actually you." his smile falls from his face once more, expression turning serious and more than a little regretful.

"Schlatt, what I said about not wanting to friends all those years ago..."

Schlatt waves a hand lazily, "It's fine, Alex, really."

"It's not fine, and you fucking know it. God, why is it that you're stubborn about shit that doesn't matter, but the second we need to get serious it doesn't matter. I hate that about you." he sighs, "We were best fucking friends and I just totally bailed on you, Schlatt. We made a promise to never do that, and I broke that promise. You called me like, eight times-"

"Twelve."

"What?"

"I called you twelve times before you picked up."

Alex blinks a few times, "Oh. Uhm. Then you called me twelve times, and I didn't even think about why you were doing it. I mean, it could have been a serious issue. And just, _fuck_ , dude. I am so fucking sorry. I don't... I was just dealing with a lot of feelings around...you... back then that uhm... I'm still not entirely good with and it was a shitty way to deal with them, and I just... I hope you can forgive me."

Schlatt shakes his head, just wanting to feel some kind of alcohol running down his throat already. If he were in any other state, or here under any other circumstances, he'd appreciate this apology a lot more. He'd been dreaming up what this interaction would look like for the past four years, and it looked nothing like this. It usually had a little less awkward silence, a _lot_ less alcohol, and little more... yeah he's not going to go down that route in his mind right now but there's definitely some not PG material when he would think of how this went down.

"Yeah. Yeah." he says, running a hand through his hair. He's sweaty, for some reason, "Whatever, just give me the cheapest thing on the menu."

Alex sighs, turning around and Schlatt lays his head down on the counter again. He listens to the music, some song he doesn't give a damn about because he's never heard it in his life, and the loud obnoxious chatter from the other patrons of the bar. Some one is trying to chat up a girl near the bathrooms, and it's not going well. Schlatt almost laughs when she insinuates that the guy is desperate because, in her own words, she's not the hottest there. Talk about martyrdom.

A glass is set down next to his head, causing him to look up. Alex is smiling, just slightly, "Here you go. Gin & Tonic on the house."

Schlatt raises a brow, picking up the glass, "On the house?"

"Think of it as part of my apology." He says, leaning against the counter. He's staring at Schlatt, who's looking back at him just as intensely. He seems to snap out of it, drying off another glass as Schlatt begins to down the drink. "What are you doing here, anyways?"

Schlatt slams the glass back down on the counter, "Sierra died." he deadpans. Alex freezes for the second, no, third time that night, looking back to Schlatt to see if this is some kind of joke. He knows Schlatt wouldn't joke about that, though, especially since Sierra was Schlatt's favorite person on the planet.

Alex pays for everything Schlatt orders that night.

Schlatt has bee going to the bar consistently for the past six months. Some weeks it's only twice, others it's practically every day, sometimes he doesn't show up until thirty minutes until Alex's shift ends. He doesn't drink much those nights, but he does wake up in Alex's apartment (more specifically his bed, with the other practically wrapped around him) the next morning and leaves before Alex can wake up. They never mention those nights the next time they see each other.

"Gin and Tonic?" Alex asks as Schlatt slips into his usual seat. Tubbo had wanted to read today, and Schlatt could only say no in a calm manner before he blew up on the toddler. Then he'd started crying, and Schlatt had to listen to that for half an hour. He's still got a headache from it.

"Anything stronger? It's been a long day." He sighs, resting his head in his palms. Alex chuckles under his breath, sliding a glass to Schlatt who drinks half of it in record time before ordering his usual. Alex raises an eyebrow at the request, but makes it anyways.

"Penny for your thoughts?"

"Quarter for me to keep 'em?"

Alex rolls his eyes, "You're such a fucking prick."

"You love me."

Alex is quiet, a little too quiet for Schlatt's liking. When they were younger Alex would have responded with an 'in your fucking dreams' or a simple 'fuck you' that Schlatt would respond to with a 'how did you know' or a 'take me out to dinner first'. It would have just been the usual teasing. Alex should be telling Schlatt to fuck himself. Schlatt should be saying 'only if you watch'. They should be bantering right now.

"Yeah," Alex finally says, "I guess I do."

Schlatt doesn't like the sound of that one bit. "Come on now, don't go soft on me just cause I'm mourning. I wouldn't go easy on you if you were."

Alex shakes his head, "Get fucked Schlatt."

"You offering?"

"Jesus fucking Christ."

This is more like it. This is their norm. Schlatt refuses to let whatever the fuck Alex is doing replace it.

"You sure you should be drinking this much, Schlatt? This is like... borderline alcoholism."

"I do what I want, bitch."

"Dude."

"Shut up, Alex, I'm fine."

It was three years after Schlatt and Alex had found each other again that Alex asked what they were. If they were friends, or something more, or fuck buddies. He just needed to know, and he wasn't letting Schlatt go without an answer if the grip on his forearm was any indicator. He looked nervous at the question, if not a little hopeful, and Schlatt had no problem with breaking that hope by telling Alex to his face that he was just an easy fuck.

Alex released his arm, looking more than a little upset. He'd always been bad with hiding his emotions, "Oh. Yeah. I figured. Just wanted to make sure you weren't getting any ideas or anything."

Schlatt knows that's bullshit. He could tell why Alex had asked the question as soon as the it was out of his mouth. The hope of his face, the way that he'd sometimes catch Alex staring whenever they would watch a movie together at Alex's apartment (which always ended in them having sex). How Alex would sometimes stand just a little too close for it to be casual, but not close enough for Schlatt to point it out without seeming weird. How Alex would talk to him like a love-struck idiot sometimes after Schlatt made a joke. How Alex looked absolutely whipped after every single one of their nights together.

Alex was obviously in love, and Schlatt knew that.

Schlatt was obviously not, and that made Alex feel like a fucking idiot.

"Wanna watch a movie at my place tonight?" Alex asks as he finishes up his shift. Schlatt raises a brow. That's normally code for 'hey, wanna fuck' but that's definitely not the case right now because Alex is going on about How to Train Your Dragon and how he can basically quote the whole thing, but he'll hold back for Schlatt because he knows he hasn't seen it, and how he bought popcorn just for this. It's the first time since they were seniors in high-school that Alex is really just asking Schlatt if he wants to watch a movie.

He can't help but think that the timing of this is a little too perfect.

"I can't keep doing this, Schlatt." Alex says one night. Schlatt's practically on top of him, and there would normally be less clothes by now but as much of an asshole as Schlatt can be he can tell when Alex is uncomfortable. He's an asshole, but he's not about to pressure his best friend into something he doesn't want, so he sits back up and leans back into the couch cushions.

"What do you mean, 'this'?" he asks, taking a sip of his beer. He's got about five open at once and none of them are empty, which Alex expressed his worries about, so it's kind of a guessing game whenever he goes to pick one up.

"This! Fucking! Us being... whatever I'm supposed to call this! I can't keep doing it." He flails around frantically, pulling at his beanie without actually taking it off. Schlatt sighs, crushing the can in his hands as he finishes it.

"Why not?"

Alex looks at him like he's a fucking idiot.

"Are you fucking kidding me? You know why. I _know_ you know why. You aren't stupid, Jay. I know you aren't. You probably knew why before I made it totally obvious by asking what we were two years ago, and if you didn't then I know you knew after I asked." His breathing is ragged, eyes brimming with tears, and if Schlatt were a little better of a person he would feel bad. "You know that I'm in love with you, I know you do, and you let us keep doing this anyway."

Okay, yeah, now he feels bad. That's a shitty move, he'll be honest with himself. If Alex wasn't totally in love with him then their situation wouldn't be that big of a deal, but he is. Schlatt knows he is, and he kept asking anyways because he knew Alex wouldn't say no. He feels like an asshole.

"You gotta go, Schlatt." Alex says, standing, "I just. I need to like process this whole thing by myself for a while."

Schlatt's phone starts to ring, the ringtone telling him that it's Tubbo before he even looks at the caller ID. Alex looks at the Caller ID though. It's currently just "T" with like ten different heart emojis, all added by Tubbo himself, and the ringtone is some random love song that Tubbo liked and _insisted_ that Schlatt make his tone.

"What the fuck?" Alex asks, changing from exhausted to pissed in a second, "I swear to go if you tell me that you've been dating someone this entire time I will actually kill you and get away with it."

Schlatt resists the urge to laugh, knowing that it would just piss Alex off even more, "Fuck no. It's just Tubbo."

Alex squints, hands on his hips, and looks to the side in thought. He looks back to Schlatt, "Who the fuck is Tubbo?"

It's that exact moment that Schlatt has never actually told Alex about Tubbo. He'd never thought to bring it up, and frankly he didn't really want to. His time with Alex was supposed to just be him and Alex. He didn't need to think about Tubbo during this time, nor did he want to. "My nephew. I've been taking care of him since Sierra died."

Alex freezes, staring at Schlatt in shock as the anger washes from his face for a split second before coming back full force, "Wait, so, let me get this straight," he brings on of his hands up to hold it in the air, "You mean to tell me that for the past _five years_ where you've come to the bar nearly every single night from five in the afternoon to when my shit ends at three A.M to basically drown your liver in alcohol, or you've come over to my house for a quick fuck and then left at noon the next day, you're supposed to have taking care of a fucking _child_ the entire time?"

Schlatt scoffs, "Please, he does just fine on his own. The lady downstairs loves him."

"That's not the fucking point, you idiot! God, how often are you even with him? How old is he? He can't be older than ten."

"Good guess. He turned nine last month."

Alex laughs to himself a bit, running a hand down his face and pacing around the living room, "You're joking. You're actually fucking joking with me right now." he turns back to Schlatt, "Jay you gotta go home, man. I am not letting you do that to your sisters kid. This is basically fucking neglect. It's barely passable because you take him to someone else to babysit but does she even know why she has to babysit him?"

Schlatt's the one that gets pissed this time around, "Oh fuck off, Alex. Don't talk to me about taking care of kids. When was the last time you even spoke to Isaac and his wife, huh? I never hear about them."

"You never even told me that you _had_ a fucking nephew, Jay. We're pot and kettle, dickhead."

"I'm not dealing with that fucking kid, alright! He looks too much like Sierra, and he acts too much like her, and he's too fucking nice just like she was and he lets people walk all over him. I'm not going to go home to fucking be with him just to sit around and drink myself to sleep without saying so much as hi to him! I'm not doing what Isabelle did!"

Alex glares at him, "I hate to break it to you, Jay. You already are." he sighs, pinching the bridge of his nose, "Stop coming to the bar. I'm not going to serve you anymore, and I'm going to it my fucking duty to make sure no one else does, either. You need to take care of that fucking kid."

Schlatt gets up off the couch, walking into Alex's space and looking down at him. The lack of distance between them really highlights their height difference, but Alex doesn't look scared in the slightest. Schlatt is glad, though, he'd take it really badly if Alex really thought Schlatt would even think about hitting him.

"If you won't serve me," he says, quiet enough that Alex is sure someone barely three feet away would be able to hear, "I'll serve myself."

He leaves without another word, and he's not surprised when he goes to block Alex and finds that he already is himself.

Schlatt is already drunk when Tubbo barrels out of his bedroom at six in the morning screaming, "I hit double digits!". He almost asks him what he means before Tubbo starts singing 'Happy birthday to me'. If he weren't drunk it would be a little endearing, but he is drunk and it's annoying as hell.

"Oi! Shut up!" he yells, and Tubbo stops singing immediately with no questions asked. Tubbo's birthday is something that they never really do anything for anymore. His last birthday was probably his fourth one, and even then all they did was give him some ice cream and say happy birthday. They weren't exactly well off at the time, and while they're still not that well off they could afford a small party for Tubbo if they wanted to. Not that Schlatt cared.

The day continues on as most of them do, Schlatt drinking more than he should, Tubbo fetching him beers when he asks for it, the T.V on way too loud and Tubbo being in his room. The only difference is that Tubbo has made himself a makeshift party hat out of paper and is wearing it around with pride.

It's maybe half past three in the afternoon when Schlatt starts to fall asleep in small bits. Losing consciousness for a few seconds before coming back for about a minute or so and losing consciousness again. Tubbo is sat at the kitchen counter eating a snack of some kind, humming the Happy Birthday song to himself with a look of disappointment as he sends glances Schlatt's way.

His skin feels damp, almost sticky, and wiping it on his clothes doesn't seem to work. It's like he's sweaty, but that can't be it because he's also cold as shit. He's shivering, even, and breathing feels a little more difficult than usual. He's laid down on the couch, staring at the ceiling, when he throws up and he's not in the right frame of mind to just turn over. Choking sounds fill the room, and the sound of a chair screeching against tile followed by footsteps takes his attention before he gets a face full of Tubbo.

"Holy moly! Holy moly moly! Dad, uhm, okay, I don't know what I'm supposed to do right now. What do I do? Wait you can't answer me, uhm, I'm gonna call an ambulance or something!" Tubbo reaches for Schlatt's phone on the nightstand, dialing 9-1-1 and talking a mile a minute before Schlatt ever hears so much as a 'Hello' from the other line.

He's choking on his own vomit, and he knows he is, he can feel himself slipping into sleep (or more likely death), and his eyes well up with tears at the pain of it all. Tubbo turns to him as Schlatt's eyes start to close and in his drunken haze, coupled with the water in his eyes, Tubbo really does look like Sierra.

Sierra. She would be so pissed at him right now. Not just for getting drunk and not caring about Tubbo's birthday, but for ignoring him for the past six years. For pushing him onto other people. For never being there for him. For treating him like Isabella treated them. For being such a shitty uncle, dad, thing. For doing what he did with Alex. She would kick his ass and the say sorry, and then kick his ass again for everything he's done since she died.

"Dad." Tubbo says, voice shaky as Schlatt's eyes close, "Dad!"

For the first time since she died, Schlatt feels guilty for what he did.

Schlatt opens his eyes to see his body being carried out of the apartment on a stretcher. There's a police officer talking to Tubbo, or at least trying to because in those rare moments that he would give Tubbo some attention he made sure to tell him that cops are rat bastards and to never speak to them about anything, and a social worker sitting by his side.

This is the first time that Schlatt hasn't seen Tubbo smiling, and it makes him feel more than a little uneasy.

The revelation that he's a ghost doesn't really bother Schlatt as much as it should, he's still able to drink so he's not too mad about it either. He's just a little uncomfortable with everyone walking through him, and looking at him only for him to realize that they're looking at someone behind him. It's weird, and he's gonna have to get used to it, but it's better than not being around at all.

The police file out, as do the people who came in the ambulance, and the social worker excuses themself to go to the bathroom for a second. It's only Schlatt and Tubbo in the kitchen now. Tubbo is staring at the floor, face still as blank as it was before, and Schlatt sighs.

"Well this is a cluster fuck." he mumbles.

Tubbo looks up and straight at him. He assumes that Tubbo is just looking at the couch, or the pictures on the walls of himself with Schlatt and Sierra, but then Tubbo looks at the can of beer in his hand and then back to his face and says;

"You're a fucking dick."

"God will you shut the fuck up, Schlatt." Tubbo says, running a hand through his hair, "I have enough trouble reading without you yammering on about something that was relevant twenty years ago. Go bother Wil, or something. I'm sure he'd love to hear about NSYNC."

Schlatt rolls his eyes, "NSYNC is timeless, Tubbo."

"I'm sure it is, but my English deadline is _not_ so please, fuck off." Tommy, who's laying down on the floor, snickers at that.

Schlatt flips Tommy off before going through the wall and into Eret's kitchen where Wil is sat on the table staring at Eret as he cooks dinner. He doesn't say anything when he sits next to Wil, and Wil doesn't say anything to him. They both just watch in complete silence as Eret dances around the kitchen while his music plays. Schlatt kicks his leg, messing with the bottle in his hand while Wil sends him some not-so-discreet side glances.

"How do I be a good dad?" He finally asks, and Wil turns to him in shock. "Don't give me that fucking look, you literal peasant, I just don't want Tubbo to think I'm just the dick I was when I was alive. I was kind of okay for a little bit, you know. Like, the first twenty five years."

Wil laughs a bit, and Schlatt is about to go off on a rant about how he's being an asshole, but Wil puts a hand on his shoulder and gives him a smile, "You just gotta be the guy you were for the first twenty-five years, Schlatt."

He blinks as Wil says he's gotta go check and make sure Ranboo and Techno haven't burnt down Eret's bedroom.

Be who he was for the first twenty-five years.

 _Yeah_ , he thinks, _I can do that_.

**Author's Note:**

> "What am I without you?" "Yourself?" PLEASE LET ME BREATHE IM FUCKING CRYING AJFJDSFHUAJKFHSNHJFNHMANUJFKNHSNJKH
> 
> FUCKING "This is it. This is checkmate. I suggest you resign." "Please don't go..." "It's okay, Tommy."  
> IM JADSKKKKKKKKKKKKHFJKFMSDJAKFLJMJFKSDLJMJK  
> 


End file.
